social trust, sense of humour

I am one of very many people wondering what all the fuss is about with Frankie Boyle's joke at Rebecca Adlington's expense. To me it isn't even remotely in the same league offence-wise as the one by Ross and Brand a year ago. He basically joked about her looks and sexual prowess. Of course it was poor taste, but most jokes are.

Complaining about jokes just makes people look worse. Being joked about hurts a little bit at the time, and it causes a very small and very brief drop in others' regard for us, but we quickly get over it, and other people's attitudes to us quickly recover, whereas demonstrating a lack of sense of humour by moaning creates a permanent, much more serious drop in regard. from now on, any time I see Adlington in the media in connection with her achievements, I will recall that she has demonstrated little sense of humour. If there had been no complaint, I wouldn't even have know about the joke since I didn't see the programme and would still have held her in high regard. So while she won't care about my views as an individual, similar attitudes in many other people will mean that her total social value has probably dropped significantly.

I've been made fun of a couple of times by various comedians, but I haven't and won't complain. I've never liked Jonathan Ross much, but it is his job to make fun of people and I was once or twice the butt of his jokes. So what? It was hardly in the same category as the Sachs prank. Griff Rhees Jones also made fun of my work, but I still enjoyed the programme in which he did so, and he is still one of my favourite comedians. It would never have occurred to me to complain about either occasion.

I think that the difference between most jokes and the one at Sachs' expense is the intent to hurt deeply, and that puts it in the same gutter entertainment level as 'happy slapping'. It's the difference between a poke in the ribs and beating someone up.

People's sense of humour varies enormously and there have always been some people who can't take a joke. But now, in today's victim culture, people who take offence at jokes that are much more minor are becoming a problem, trying to sterilise communication, entertainment and socialising. If we give in to pressure to remove all possible offence, regardless of triviality, we risk great social damage, reducing quality of life for everyone.

When people interact, they need to have a basic level of trust to make that transaction successful. The state can only provide a very limited level of trust, via certification and legislation, and since it is often obvious that this can easily be circumvented by those who want to, so such state provision is of little value. If we implement measures that prevent the establishment of trust by normal social means, then we will be in real trouble, and society will not be able to function properly. Everyday banter and joking oil interactions between people and help society to function well. They are a very important part of the tool-kit for establishing social trust. People who share a joke trust each other more. Introducing constraints and rules into the occasion reduces its emotional value and thereby the social trust value.

Many studies have shown that social trust is one of the most important ingredients of personal happiness. It is one of the reasons that we often see high happiness levels even in poor areas, and low happiness in rich areas. Humans are social animals and we need lots of high quality human contact to be happy. Needing to follow a strict rule book and constantly self censoring makes such contact more strenuous and more threatening. We treat others with suspicion, and have to be on our guard in case of being caught in breach of a rule. In other words, rules introduce stress into what should be fun. Censoring humour excessively directly undermines fun. Life is difficult enough already, without deliberately introducing rules that can only make it worse.

So let's stop this trend of taking offence at every opportunity. Whatever the short term gain for an individual might be, in the end it will make us all less happy.